path: root/konversation/scripts/fortunes.dat

%
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
%
Let's call it an accidental feature.
	-- Larry Wall
%
I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody.  It doesn't generate revenue.
	-- Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux
%
Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the useless of this
driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...).
	-- Michael Beck, describing the PC-speaker sound device
%
lp1 on fire
	-- One of the more obfuscated kernel messages
%
A Linux machine!  Because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!
	-- Joe Sloan, jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu
%
Microsoft is not the answer.
Microsoft is the question.
NO (or Linux) is the answer.
	-- Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown
%
In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable.
Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?
	-- Hasse Skrifvars, hasku@rost.abo.fi, 
%
Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.
Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules
win-nt from the people who invented edlin.
Apples  have  meant  trouble  since  eden.
Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses
	-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
%
Once upon a time there was a DOS user who saw Unix, and saw that it was
good.  After typing cp on his DOS machine at home, he downloaded GNU's
unix tools ported to DOS and installed them.  He rm'd, cp'd, and mv'd
happily for many days, and upon finding elvis, he vi'd and was happy.  After
a long day at work (on a Unix box) he came home, started editing a file,
and couldn't figure out why he couldn't suspend vi (w/ ctrl-z) to do
a compile.
	-- Erik Troan, ewt@tipper.oit.unc.edu
%
We are MicroSoft.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.
	-- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates
%
Avoid the Gates of Hell.  Use Linux
	-- unknown source
%
Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy.  The
phrase was "Divide and conquer" not "Divide and cock up"
	-- Alan Cox, iialan@www.linux.org.uk
%
Linux!  Guerrilla UNIX Development     Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.
	-- Mark A. Horton KA4YBR, mah@ka4ybr.com
%
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"
Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !!
	-- Felix von Leitner, leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de
%
Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars has to
be the HP-48 series of calculators.  They'll run almost anything.  And if they
can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into the serial port and load up the
HP-48 VT-100 emulator.
	-- Jeff Dege, jdege@winternet.com
%
There are no threads in a.b.p.erotica,  so there's no  gain in using a
threaded news reader.
	-- unknown source
%
/*
 * Oops. The kernel tried to access some bad page. We'll have to
 * terminate things with extreme prejudice.
*/
die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code);
	-- From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c
%
Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
	-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
%
Linux: the choice of a GNU generation
	-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
%
There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and
those who can't.  There is a constant pitched battle between the two.
	-- From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a
%
When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at
you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*".
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.
	-- Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu
%
Be warned that typing killall name may not have the desired
effect on non-Linux systems, especially when done by a privileged user.
	-- From the killall manual page
%
Note that if I can get you to "su and say" something just by asking,
you have a very serious security problem on your system and you should
look into it.
	-- Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 installation notes
%
How should I know if it works?  That's what beta testers are for.  I
only coded it.
	-- Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting
%
I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS.
Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.
	-- Lawrence Foard, entropy@world.std.com
%
Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that
no conclusion can be drawn from them.
	-- Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project)
%
If the future navigation system [for interactive networked services on
the NII] looks like something from Microsoft, it will never work.
	-- Chairman of Walt Disney Television & Telecommunications
%
Problem solving under Linux has never been the circus that it is under
AIX.
	-- Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix
%
I don't know why, but first C programs tend to look a lot worse than
first programs in any other language (maybe except for fortran, but then
I suspect all fortran programs look like `firsts')
	-- Olaf Kirch
%
On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a 'BREAK'
- everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS.
	-- Tarl Neustaedter
%
By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since
sliced bread.
	-- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
%
I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development
That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb.  Thank you.
	-- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
%
Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The Labs.
	-- Dennis Ritchie
%
If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot
of different places, just write a Unix operating system.
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
...and scantily clad females, of course.  Who cares if it's below zero
outside.
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead
sit in front of your linux computer playing with the all-new-and-improved 
linux kernel version.
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?
	-- Patrick Volkerding
%
All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory...
	-- Larry Wall
%
And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs
19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to
get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank.
	-- Matt Welsh
%
Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of
reliable, well-engineered commercial software?
	-- Matt Welsh
%
Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access.  I
wonder if He has a full newsfeed?
	-- Matt Welsh
%
I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of
mice vs. trackballs... It was very silly.
	-- Matt Welsh
%
Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night
hacking (and/or conversations with God).
	-- Matt Welsh
%
What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through
these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot
water.
	-- Matt Welsh
%
...Deep Hack Mode -- that mysterious and frightening state of
consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread.
	-- Matt Welsh
%
...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
the Ugly).
	-- Matt Welsh
%
...very few phenomena can pull someone out of Deep Hack Mode, with two
noted exceptions: being struck by lightning, or worse, your *computer*
being struck by lightning.
	-- Matt Welsh
%
..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar.  Believe me.  I
speak from experience.
	-- Matt Welsh
%
[In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I
thought of it.  (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less
abusive.')
	-- Matt Welsh
%
I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than
10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't.
	-- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
%
...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke Q_SIGNALS.
	-- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
%
Whip me.  Beat me.  Make me maintain AIX.
	-- Stephan Zielinski
%
Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse
for some of the brain-damages of minix.
	-- Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum
%
I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a
fundamental error.  Be thankful you are not my student.  You would not get a
high grade for such a design :-)
	-- Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds
%
We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications.  Having the source code
means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.
	-- Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software
%
Linux is obsolete
	-- Andrew Tanenbaum
%
Dijkstra probably hates me.
	-- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c
%
And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports
on it, you know they are just evil lies.
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
We are Pentium of Borg.  Division is futile.  You will be approximated.
	-- seen in someone's .signature
%
Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment.
	-- seen in a posting in comp.software.testing
%
quit   When the quit statement is read, the  bc  processor
       is  terminated, regardless of where the quit state-
       ment is found.  For example, "if  (0  ==  1)  quit"
       will cause bc to terminate.
	-- seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic
%
Sic transit discus mundi
	-- From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius
%
Sigh.  I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on
the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.
	-- Craig E. Groeschel
%
We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
	- Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam Linux Symposium
%
Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white
light.  It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In
a booming voice, He says: "THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM
FOR THE 386.
	-- Matt Welsh
%
The chat program is in public domain.  This is not the GNU public license.
If it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.
	-- Copyright notice for the chat program
%
'Mounten' wird fr drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken'
von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex.
	-- Christa Keil
%
Manchmal stehe nachts auf und installier's mir einfach...
	-- H0arry @ IRC
%
'Mounting' is used for three things: climbing on a horse, linking in a
hard disk unit in data systems, and, well, mounting during sex.
	-- Christa Keil
%
We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!
	-- Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan
%
But what can you do with it?
	-- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner
%
/*
 * [...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum
 * possible RTT.  I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP
 * to talk to the University of Mars.
 * PAWS allows us longer timeouts and large windows, so once implemented
 * ftp to mars will work nicely.
 */
	-- from /usr/src/linux/net/inet/tcp.c, concerning RTT [round trip time]
%
DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system
     crashes, usually just before saving a massive project.  Easily cured by
     UNIX.  See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.
	-- David Vicker's .plan
%
MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years
of careful development.
	-- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca
%
LILO, you've got me on my knees!
	-- David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the
Dominos, and Werner Almsberger
%
I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few
months.  I just love debugging ;-)
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit
operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top
programmers from the underground world of virus development.  Bill Gates stated
yesterday: "World domination, fast -- it's either us or Linus".  Mr. Torvalds
was unavailable for comment ...
	-- Robert Manners, rjm@swift.eng.ox.ac.uk, in comp.os.linux.setup
%
The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple.  After that, it's all learned.
	-- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X interfaces
%
After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new
folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or
speaker of intuitive likes".
	-- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X the intuitiveness of a Mac interface
%
Now I know someone out there is going to claim, "Well then, UNIX is intuitive,
because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows
from that! Har har har!"
	-- Andy Bates on "intuitive interfaces", slightly defending Macs
%
> No manual is ever necessary.
May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT.  That's the biggest Apple lie of all!
	-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
%
How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi $i done" in a GUI?
	-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
%
>Ever heard of .cshrc?
That's a city in Bosnia.  Right?
	-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands
%
Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into
super-edit-debug-compile mode?
	-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
%
Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of 
code using nothing but vi or emacs.  AAAAACK!
	-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
%
Now, it we had this sort of thing:
  yield -a     for yield to all traffic
  yield -t     for yield to trucks
  yield -f     for yield to people walking (yield foot)
  yield -d t*  for yield on days starting with t

...you'd have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you
wouldn't believe...
	-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands
%
Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of
filename completion.
	-- Discussion on file completion vs. the Mac Finder
%
Not me, guy.  I read the Bash man page each day like a Jehovah's Witness reads
the Bible.  No wait, the Bash man page IS the bible.  Excuse me...
	-- More on confusing aliases, taken from comp.os.linux.misc
%
On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT
	-- Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com
%
> I'm an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
Disquieting ...
	-- Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's
%
> I'm an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals
then.
	-- Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's
%
> I'm an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).
	-- Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's
%
Never make any mistaeks.
	-- Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report
%
+#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI)
+       /*
+        * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus
+        * this makes the year come out right.
+        */
+       year -= 42;
+#endif
	-- From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner
%
As usual, this being a 1.3.x release, I haven't even compiled this
kernel yet.  So if it works, you should be doubly impressed.
	-- Linus Torvalds, announcing kernel 1.3.3
%
People disagree with me.  I just ignore them.
	-- Linus Torvalds, regarding the use of C++ for the Linux kernel
%
It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators.
	-- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal emulator
%
Audience: What will become of Linux when the Hurd is ready?
Eric Youngdale: Err... is Richard Stallman here?
	-- From the Linux conference in spring '95, Berlin
%
Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion.
	-- Mike Coleman
%
The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
... faster BogoMIPS calculations (yes, it now boots 2 seconds faster than
it used to: we're considering changing the name from "Linux" to "InstaBOOT"
	-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.26
%
... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(),
which is why I never saw it.  Serves people who use that abomination
right 8^)
	-- Linus Torvalds, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26
%
It's a bird..
It's a plane..
No, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue.
Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat..
	-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
%
Eh, that's it, I guess.  No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this
kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the
"happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along). 
	-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
%
Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"
series of kernels.  So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets
and deliver this message of joy to the masses.
	-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
%
When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at
you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'.
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for. ;-)
	-- Unknown source
%
> Linux is not user-friendly. 
It _is_ user-friendly.  It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly.
	-- Seen somewhere on the net
%
Keep me informed on the behaviour of this kernel..  As the "BugFree(tm)"
series didn't turn out too well, I'm starting a new series called the
"ItWorksForMe(tm)" series, of which this new kernel is yet another
shining example.
	-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.29
%
Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary
with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors
are for wimps).
	-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
%
(I tried to get some documentation out of Digital on this, but as far as
I can tell even _they_ don't have it ;-)
	-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
%
Q: Why shouldn't I simply delete the stuff I never use, it's just taking up 
   space?
A: This question is in the category of Famous Last Words..
	-- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
%
Q: What's the big deal about rm, I have been deleting stuff for years?  And 
   never lost anything.. oops!
A: ...
	-- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
%
Linux is addictive, I'm hooked!
	-- MaDsen Wikholm's .sig
%
panic("Foooooooood fight!");
	-- In the kernel source aha1542.c, after detecting a bad segment list
%
Convention organizer to Linus Torvalds: "You might like to come with us 
to some licensed[1] place, and have some pizza."

Linus: "Oh, I did not know that you needed a license to eat pizza".

[1] Licenced - refers in Australia to a restaurant which has government 
licence to sell liquor.
	-- Linus at a talk at the Melbourne University
%
Footnotes are for things you believe don't really belong in LDP manuals,
but want to include anyway.
	-- Joel N. Weber II discussing the 'make' chapter of LPG
%
Eh, that's it, I guess.  No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this
kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the
"happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along).
Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"
series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets
and deliver this message of joy to the masses.
	-- Linus Torvalds, on releasing 1.3.27
%
Ok, I'm just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also
known as "the buggiest kernel ever".
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and
quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).
	-- seen in a .sig somewhere
%
Those who don't understand Linux are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.
	-- unidentified source
%
Look, I'm about to buy me a double barreled sawed off shotgun and show
Linus what I think about backspace and delete not working.
	-- some anonymous .signature
%
We apologize for the inconvenience, but we'd still like yout to test out
this kernel. 
	-- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
%
The new Linux anthem will be "He's an idiot, but he's ok", as performed by
Monthy Python.  You'd better start practicing.
	-- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
%
How do you power off this machine?
	-- Linus, when upgrading linux.cs.helsinki.fi, and after using the machine for several months
%
Excusing bad programming is a shooting offence, no matter _what_ the
circumstances.
	-- Linus Torvalds, to the linux-kernel list
%
Linus?  Whose that?
	-- clueless newbie on #Linux
%
Whoa...I did a 'zcat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio' and I think I heard God...
	-- mikecd on #Linux
%
Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the 
grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin 
charging at them in excess of 100mph.  They'd be a lot more careful about what 
they say if they had. 
	-- Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0
%
MS-DOS, you can't live with it, you can live without it.
	-- from Lars Wirzenius' .sig
%
.. I used to get in more fights with SCO than I did my girlfriend, but 
now, thanks to Linux, she has more than happily accepted her place back at 
number one antagonist in my life.. 
	-- Jason Stiefel, krypto@s30.nmex.com
%
I mean, well, if it were not for Linux I might be roaming the streets looking
for drugs or prostitutes or something.  Hannu and Linus have my highest
admiration (apple polishing mode off).
	-- Phil Lewis, plewis@nyx.nyx.net
%
> What does ELF stand for (in respect to Linux?)
ELF is the first rock group that Ronnie James Dio performed with back in 
the early 1970's.  In constrast, a.out is a misspelling	 of the French word 
for the month of August.  What the two have in common is beyond me, but 
Linux users seem to use the two words together.
	-- seen on c.o.l.misc
%
"Linux was made by foreign terrorists to take money from true US companies
like Microsoft." - Some AOL'er.
"To this end we dedicate ourselves..." -Don
	-- From the sig of "Don", don@cs.byu.edu
%
Shoot me again.
Just proving that the quickest way to solve the problem is to post a
whine to the newsgroups: within moments the solution presents itself to
me, and meanwhile my ass is hanging out on the Net... *sigh*... 
	-- Dave Phillips, dlphilp@bright.net, about problem solving via news
%
Besides, its really not worthwhile to use more than two times your physical 
ram in swap (except in a select few situations). The performance of the system 
becomes so abysmal you'd rather heat pins under your toenails while reciting 
Windows95 source code and staring at porn flicks of Bob Dole than actually try 
to type something.
	-- seen on c.o.l.development.system, about the size of the swap space
%
Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff 
on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)
	-- Linus Torvalds, about his failing hard drive on linux.cs.helsinki.fi
%
One of the things that hamper Linux's climb to world domination is the
shortage of bad Computer Role Playing Games, or CRaPGs. No operating system
can be considered respectable without one.
	-- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
%
The game, anoraks.2.0.0.tgz, will be available from sunsite until somebody
responsible notices it and deletes it, and shortly from
ftp.mee.tcd.ie/pub/Brian, though they don't know that yet.
	-- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
%
'Ooohh.. "FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to Linux
over the wire". Film at 11.'
	-- Linus Torvalds
%
Q: Would you like to see the WINE list?
A: What's on it, anything expensive?
Q: No, just Solitaire and MineSweeper for now, but the WINE is free.
	-- Kevin M. Bealer, about the WINdows Emulator
%
So in the future, one 'client' at a time or you'll be spending CPU time with 
lots of little 'child processes'.
	-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
%
By the way, I can hardly feel sorry for you... All last night I had to listen 
to her tears, so great they were redirected to a stream.  What?  Of _course_ 
you didn't know.  You and your little group no longer have any permissions 
around here.  She changed her .lock files, too.
	-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
%
We should start referring to processes which run in the background by their 
correct technical name... paenguins.
	-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
%
We can use symlinks of course... syslogd would be a symlink to syslogp and 
ftpd and ircd would be linked to ftpp and ircp... and of course the 
point-to-point protocal paenguin.
	-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
%
This is a logical analogy too... anyone who's been around, knows the world is 
run by paenguins.  Always a paenguin behind the curtain, really getting things 
done.  And paenguins in politics--who can deny it?
	-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
%
Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today?
	-- Submitted by Pancrazio De Mauro, paraphrasing some well-known sales talk
%
The most important design issue... is the fact that Linux is supposed to 
be fun...
	-- Linus Torvalds at the First Dutch International Symposium on Linux
%
In short, at least give the penguin a fair viewing. If you still don't
like it, that's ok: that's why I'm boss. I simply know better than you do.
	-- Linus "what, me arrogant?" Torvalds, on c.o.l.advocacy
%
<SomeLamer> what's the difference between chattr and chmod?
<SomeGuru> SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; diff -u 1 2 | less
	-- Seen on #linux on irc
%
The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.
	-- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com
%
"... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited
by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when
you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new
turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily
removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition
	-- found in the .sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com
%
C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success
	-- Dennis M. Ritchie
%
If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds must be the Messiah.
	-- Unknown source
%
Vini, vidi, Linux!
	-- Unknown source
%
The good thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.
	-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
%
I'm telling you that the kernel is stable not because it's a kernel,
but because I refuse to listen to arguments like this.
	-- Linus Torvalds
%